Free Community Lecture

• Does your 5-year-old run your household? Are your teens or young adults still acting like little kids?
• When was the last time you and your mate went away, overnight, without the kids?
• Do you think it's great to be your child's pal?
• Have you deprived your child of the right to have inner structure and impulse control? Does she have any patience? Is he respectful?
• Are you too invested in the career your child chooses? Do you expect your kids to become something they aren't supposed to become?
• Are you and your kids overworked, over-scheduled, frazzled, sick, and tired?
• Is there any time in your lives for you and your family to contemplate, reflect, and connect? Do you find the universe to be awe-inspiring, or can't you be bothered by such a question?
• Are you tripping over the ghosts of your own past when you try to raise your kids?

Description

More and more each day, mental health professionals are called upon to explain what is happening with parents and children, and what can be done about it. Whether in response to media questions, in consultation with school administrators and teachers, or in therapy sessions with our clients, we are asked to help today's parents cope with and improve family life. Of special note are the problems that parents have in 1) remaining the leaders in the family system, 2) in setting and maintaining appropriate intergenerational boundaries, and 3) in being role models for impulse control and civility in an increasingly complex world.

In this workshop, psychologist John Friel will address 7 of the most common and most troublesome problems displayed by American parents in recent years. He will also present concrete, practical therapeutic and educational interventions that professionals can use to help parents head off serious trouble before it gets out of control, or to deal with trouble once it has escalated.

Based on the New York Times bestselling book, The 7 Worst Things Parents Do, by John and Linda Friel, the list of topic areas includes: 1) babying our children, 2) putting one's marriage last, 3) pushing our children into too many activities, 4) ignoring the emotional and spiritual in life, 5) trying to be our child's best friend, 6) failing to teach our children internal structure and impulse control, and 7) expecting our children to fulfill our dreams.

Objectives

1. To be able to recognize, identify, and understand 7 of the most common parenting errors made by contemporary parents.
2. To learn techniques and interventions to help parents move past these 7 errors.
3. To gain both a theoretical foundation as well as therapeutic interventions to understand and then help parents become leaders in their families without making the two major "over-correction errors" that parents often make, i.e., being too permissive or being tyrants with their children.
4. To help professionals identify and deal with the very powerful countertransference issues that often interfere with therapy in these situations.